To Palang (Panther)

To my Nissan Sentra I named Palang which means panther in Farsi

I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you enough, and I’m sorry that I didn’t realize what you were worth until I thought that I almost lost you. Thank you for the countless beach trips and random adventures. Thank you for letting me smoke a blunt and blast my Spotify playlist while you kept me warm and charged my phone for me in the garage. Thank you for being my first baby are my responsibility and it wasn’t until I had you in my life that I realized what a price I have to pay for freedom. You know what though, it was all worth it. I seriously can’t thank you enough for saving me so much money as the gas prices continue to rise. I only have to spend $25 to last me an entire week with you by my side. lol this is a love letter to my car because it has been such a ride and I can’t wait to have you by my side in the next step of my journey through life. We are going to LONG BEACH baby!


Another day, another man

I have this thing where I get bored super easily, and I judge people easily..
I see someone I like, flirt with them for a while and then get bored. Its hard for someone to keep me interested. At this point in time I am not looking for anyone because I’m about to move but I can’t help but flirt with every cute guy who passes by. I have high expectations for myself and who I associate myself with. I am only 21 and I’ve already made so many mistakes. I’ve made memories with a few too many. I’ve already lost count of the men I’ve been with (not slept with). I opened up, became their “girlfriend” and let them have a piece of me. At this point in time I feel like I need time to patch up the holes that they have left. I need time and space but I am a hopeless romantic and LOVE being in lust.

lying to myself
thinking he could be the one
knowing deep down
I’m just fucking him for fun

future looks bright
his looking bleak
waking up to a new man
his dick puts me to sleep

cuddles to keep me warm
kisses meaningless
wanting to change him
being selfish

last guy I fucked
small dick
fat wallet
shoved it in my mouth
and told me to suck it

he “took me out”
said I was his
he was fucking a corpse
should have let me live

he added another hole
slabbed salt on the wound
acts long forgotten
but never forgiven


Royals 👑

Says he has everything he needs
I know what his heart desires
Can’t hide it from me
kindling the fire

hard headed
intelligent but ignorant
puts the money where his mouth is
personality quite vigorous

started from the bottom
rapidly working to the top
we are similar in many ways
traveling with few stops

When beauty met the beast
she noticed the challenge first hand
she looked past his attitude
took the title and became her man

patience is a virtue
many often lack
done playing games
need a man to have my back

a taurus bull
and the Leo lion
only work well together
when they avoid fighting

hes lucky you know,
having a chance with me
I am so patient
can easily be his Queen.


February 2018

Sooo once again, I fell in love with someone who will never be able to reciprocate those same emotions toward me. I fell in love with a liar this time. A selfish man who thinks its okay to fuck anyone he wants without consequence. I knew from the very start that this man would never be loyal to me; he would never be mine. I thought I could do the whole friends with benefits thing but I was so wrong. I think it is disgusting to be with someone who is so open to sleeping with strangers. You don’t know don’t know where they have been or what they’ve been through. Called me old fashioned but these are just my beliefs. I deserve better. I am better. I dropped him so fast because I respect myself enough to say no. It just sucks that I lost my best friend in the process. I really enjoyed every moment I spent with him. It got to the point where the smell of his clothes would bring me comfort and the one thing I would crave most is falling asleep in his arms. I loved you C. Now its time to move on..its for the best. Thank you for 6 months of memories.



Hello internet/cyber-world thingy and hello to those who actually take the time to read my posts that include but are not limited to my VERY personal poetry, and a few very significant moments in my life that I document through stories. I am going to be on WordPress a whole lot more because there are so many things happening this year and so many changes that I’m not going to be able to wrap my head around until much later into the future. One of my New Years resolutions is documenting more of these exciting and positive moments. Every fall and winter since my father passed away I tend to fall into this depressed state and the only way to snap out of it is to remind myself of all the little things I am thankful for on a daily basis.

1. How my mother is an incredible woman and everything that she has put herself through was for this moment right here..complete bliss.

2. My father was an incredible cook and a cool state at home dad during the day. There was even a time after he got out of rehab where he was able to stay with us for an entire year while I was in middle school. I was so excited to have homemade breakfast and lunch instead of the free meals at school.

3. I was born into the biggest most loving family on this planet. My uncles and aunts all get along and there is never any conflict mA. I feel like all of my aunts are my mothers and uncles are father figures. My aunt Aziza raised me just as much as my mother. I remember having the courage to take the B.A.R.T. train from Concord to Fremont all alone just to see her every weekend in 5th grade. It was definitely my home away from home. ❤️

3.I owe my entire life to my girls, we are the friends that so many aspire to have. Theres P, the fabulous and talented and gorgeous Cosmo in training who we all know is going to be super successful in life. Probably going to have her own salon next to the hookah lounge we open up 😉
B, the modestly stunning photographer wifey who is probably going to marry an over 6ft tall black muslim guy (any inquiries…lmk) and have a bunch of mixed babies that I will take and raise for my own.
S, is gonna be married to a super rich middle eastern guy and will be set for life.. “me no study, me no care” right babe? LOL nahhhh jk shes going to be the most incredible business woman the world has ever seen…unless she’s doing bio-tech (has not been decided yet)..then she will have a cure for cancer in no time.


also, thank YOU
yes, YOU
I see you through the stats 😬
for real though thank you for taking the time to read and comment, or like my posts. Maybe one day I will make this page more public and share it on my personal social media pages. I just don’t feel like I’m ready to expose that part of myself yet. My last few poems have been about my sexual fantasies and desires and I would like to think of WordPress as my little journal and an outlet where I can say whatever I want the way it feels. Some of my entries are nothing more than run on sentences..but thats the beauty in something like this, it doesn’t matter. If you haven’t yet, please like any posts you’ve read and maybe even follow me because I’m human and I would like a little reassurance once in a while 😅 I appreciate youuuuu
Thats all for now,

To the married couples ❤️

To all the married couples who have made it through years together
I envy you

its hard to find a man
that will love you
be your biggest fan
the one who will be yours forever

commitments become difficult
millennials living their lives,
the “In the moment” state of mind
blaming myself

being too good
being a “wifey” type of girl
thought that was the dream

Bringing him food
Thinking of him day and night
Waking him up with a bj
My body at his disposal

too bad my relationships never last
A few months here
Few more there
my friends always know
How long it actually a lasts

I go through men like water
they’re so disposable
feels perfect in the first few months
until one day it all changes
they become careless

all the little “favors” you do for them turn into chores
That white Pickett fence life is behind us
the new dream turned into a game

who can get ahead
who can get further
materialistic dreams

was it always this difficult?
were men always this way?
I know who I want to become
a successful woman
with a committed man on my side

someone who I know will appreciate me
and all the little things I do to keep him happy
even when we argue,
it won’t be enough to break us apart

we will always find a way back to each other
true love
these are the thoughts of a hopeless romantic

to those who have someone you would do anything for
the one you can commit your whole life to
give them anything in the world

see them with you every single step of the way
I envy you
never let that person go


The fantasy

ready to be punished
I walk out of the bathroom door
black lace lingerie
Mouthing the word “daddy” from across the room
swaying a pair of handcuffs
propped against the wall
I know what you like
where, how much
looking straight into those hazel eyes
while I finish you off
my fingers and my hands
my mouth
my body
at your disposal
your good girl
The mother of your unborn children
You fantasize about the most
Seeing your baby growing inside of me
a fetish
being nurtured
getting bigger
you visualize my figure
laying in the bed you bought me
your hand on my round little belly
my breasts, swollen
your mouth around my nipple
nursing you and the baby
wanting to alleviate the pressure
your tongue dances around my body
working down to my clit
look up to see that belly bump
the sparkle in my eyes
knowing that I’m satisfied
happy in our little fantasy
just before pulling out
You look to see the aftermath
my breaths quicken
seeing my thighs contract
eyes rolled to the back of my skull
my nails digging into your back
hearing me moan
whispering your name
begging you to keep going
to cum inside of me
contracting my pussy
making it tighter for you
the feeling of you filling me up
I smile wide
You pull out slowly
loving the sweet satisfaction
Climbing back into your bed
exchanging kisses
your hand back where it belongs
I start nibbling on your neck
whisper daddy in your ear
loving you is my purpose
creating a family is a duty
nurturing is my passion
I want nothing more than to satisfy you