In my opinion: A millenial’s perspective on relationships

In my opinion, few know what they actually want. I am at this age where I don’t know if I should be looking for a committed relationship or just having fun and enjoying my 20s. I’m hoping that when I do meet the right guy he is going to add to my life and not take away from what’s important. I have this vision that it will all come together so easily and love will find a way to me just like it does in a Disney movie.beauty and the beast gif

My fellow millennials out there know what it’s like growing up in this crazy competitive world and how difficult it has gotten over the years & currently everyone is pushing for the same thing, success. It’s annoying because I find myself more focused on other peoples opinions. I ask myself how things will look from an outsiders perspective which really shouldn’t matter but somehow it does. In this age of new media and social media, we strive to live a picture-perfect life from the clothes we wear and places we go to the people we are seen with. I think it has affected the individuals we surround ourselves with too.

Recently, I have been hearing about the relationships that end over that “I can do better than him” thought. Someone in the relationship is unhappy because they think there is someone hotter or smarter or more put together out there and there might be in allthe little mermaid honesty..but if there is nothing wrong with the relationship in the first place, why mess up a good thing? (Wo)men break up with their S/O thinking that they are going to find something better and realize that there is more garbage out there than good genuine people. They always come back to that one person who brought them comfort and security. I guess that’s just a part of life..you live and you learn and you never really know what you have until its gone, but then its too late.

You know what they say, one (wo)man’s trash is another (wo)mans treasure..

TOODALOO JW

Confidence is Key

These last few weeks have been interesting. Since moving to LB I have made many positive changes to my life.

  1. Eating clean and feeling lean

Food is fuel and your body is a temple. I grew up with a single mother who didn’t really have time to cook so fast food was a substantial part of my diet. It was either McDonald’s, Jack in the Box, or pizza. At home, all I had in the fridge were those frozen tv dinners or frozen chicken patties. Ughh…and those turkey cold cuts for sandwiches I can’t stand anymore. Even peanut butter and jelly grosses me out. Everyone in my family can cook and I come from a long line of chefs. When my parents were together they owned a Mediterranean restaurant and we had it for about two years before my mom decided to sell it. All of my aunts and uncles on both sides have owned restaurants at one point or another so I just feel like cooking is in my blood. I was so sick and tired of fast food that I picked up a few fresh ingredients and called my mom to get a few recipes. An hour later I was eating this amazing gourmet dinner that I made for super cheap! I have been saving so much money preparing my own meals and guess what?!?!? I FEEL AMAZING!

 

2. Push through those last few reps at the gym.. bikini me

I used to be super insecure and had major gymtimidation but it wasn’t until recently that I’ve learned to plug-in and try my best because the truth is, no one really knows what they’re doing at the gym. It was also hard to get out of bed in the morning. Getting a workout in before work sounded like a punishment but now I get excited because I feel so good after. Oh, and my roommate has been the best gym buddy a girl could hope for. She pushes me to get up in the morning and get my ass there and once I start I can’t stop.

Side note: I wear a waist trainer and it has helped me lose inches around my waist, the one area I was the most insecure about. I know waist trainers are getting a bad rep right now but it legit changed my life so if you’re even thinking about getting one I would say go for it but just don’t overdo it. You’re not gonna have a Kim K waist overnight..but you will in a few months with the right diet hahaha. I’m all for them! I got mine from this site called AngelCurves. I would check the dimensions before committing to one because most of them are for shorter torsos and I had to exchange mine.

3. WEAR WHAT YOU WANT…FUCK EVERYONE’S OPINION

bikini 2Never in my life would I have worn a bikini in public and loved how I looked in it until I stopped giving a shit about what everyone else thought. I can wear what I want, when I want now and my confidence is through the roof because of it. Eating clean and working out have played a huge role in this as well but at the end of the day, I made the decision to stop listening to those little voices in my head. Be bold and take a leap of faith

with your wardrobe. If you want to wear a tube top..go for it! I just bought mine a month ago and I can’t live without it now. I am probably going to order a few more after I post this tonight lol.

Try to do something you normally wouldn’t this summer. You might surprise yourself and actually like it.

TOODALOO JW

Meet the Newest Foster

Found this hidden gem in Long Beach thanks to one of my new best friends! You won’t believe how historic this town is. I will try to take photos at every spot and post it on here. Next stop: Anchor Beach!

I also need to take a photo of Drake and Josh’s school/ the school where they filmed American Pie and a few other famous shows and commercials. I was there today but only took a short video! It was Callie’s old high school before she was at Anchor Beach too!

The_Fosters_intertitleimg_4276

fosters 3

Long Beach, CA 7.31.18

TOODALOO JW

Update to the update// Health problems/rant

Things have turned around since my last post.

That mark on my breast is a sunburn and is nothing serious. I went to planned parenthood for my breast exam and was able to get examined at no cost because I qualified for this program that they offer to students. I went in there expecting a referral to get a mammogram and her being super concerned, but the complete opposite happened. She asked me about my past history and told me that what I was feeling and experiencing was completely normal in women with large breasts. After, she said it was nothing serious and that I needed to come back in 3 months for a follow-up.

The wifi people are supposed to show up this Friday and if they don’t come I am going to kick someone’s ass. Seriously, I am so beyond done with them.

On the bright side: S.O.A.R. aka orientation went really well and I actually enjoyed it. I was able to sign up for every class I needed and a few that I was really interested in too. I found out that it’s not too late for me to declare a minor as well so that also made me really excited about this journey at CSULB. I am now a Journalism major and an English minor with an emphasis on creative writing. How amazing does that sound!!!

Channeling my inner Hilary in Beauty and the Briefcase rn…hilary duff

Fun fact: HILARY DUFF IS MY IDOL…like you know how everyone has that one famous person that they idolize and aspire to be? Mine’s Hilary Duffffff! She is everything and I have looked up to her since she was little Lizzie McGuire. AHHH I FUCKING LOVE HER!!!! LIKE I JUST UGHHHH IF I COULD MEET ANY CELEBRITY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD I WOULD PICK HER IN A HEARTBEAT! I am currently fangirling over a new show that she’s in called Younger..if you haven’t seen it yet you’re missing out! Also, simultaneously blasting her music on my Spotify rn…I told you I’m obsessed.

ANNNYWHOOOOO….back to me

I am going to be posting a lot more now because I really enjoy making these lame little posts and updates and it lets me reflect on everything. This is where you can tell me what things I should post because I want to expand my horizons a bit more. I cook every single night so I have a bunch of food pics and tips I can post. Everyone in my family is a chef/cook so it’s in my blood and I LOOOVE cooking.

I also live in Long Beach now so I can post little things about my adventures and stuff around here. There are so many exciting things to see in Long Beach. Did you know that a bunch of your favorite TV shows and movies have little pieces filmed right here in my town? I met this friend who actually took me to his old high school and showed me where they filmed Drake and Josh and American Pie! I also visited the Fosters house today. You know that show where a lesbian couple adopt a bunch of kids and call themselves The Fosters? Yeahhhhh one of my favorite shows!  ooooh and that scene where they shot the football game in Alvin and the Chipmunks…yeahhhh that’s here tooooooooo..located right next to the CSULB “DIRTBAGS” baseball stadium.

I am also open to posting makeup and outfit details because I know that’s trending rn too. Just lmkkkk. I get asked about my makeup all the time but I feel like there are so many people doing the same thing already I have to come up with a creative way of posting my tips and tricks.

TOODALOO JW

Blessings 🙏

The world works in mysterious ways

Life going by like a phase

Day and night pass

Making memories to last

The present a gift

The past a lesson

Constantly counting my blessings

Praising God in each step

Humans are complex

No two are alike

Ways we live our life

The way we see the world

Each lesson in disguise

Each burden a blessing

Never realizing till after

It was a journey worth taking

Living with no regrets

Everything happens for a reason

No reason to be upset

Or resent the life we are given

This is how I choose to see the world

embracing my scars

Creating a life worth living

Don’t let it pass you by

Life is over in the blink of an eye

TOODALOO JW

Life update: Health Probs//Rant

Life has a weird way of throwing new things at you.

Yesterday I woke up to find this peculiar large red spot on my breast. I already have a history of breast pain and cysts but this was just the icing on the cake of worries in my life right now. I just signed up for insurance through CA covered someshit..which, by the way, sucks so much ass because I have to pay helllla money each visit on top of the monthly insurance deductible. I was supposed to get it checked out today but I had other things I had to do.

First of all, I do not have wifi in the apt and I won’t be able to get it all set up until the third of August. We were scheduled to have a licensed technician come and install it today but the idiots got the address wrong and called the wrong phone number when they did “arrive” today. I spent all day on my toes expecting someone to give me a call and nothing. I made the appointment two weeks ago because today was the first day they had available in their bullshit scheduling system. Also, there are only two companies that can provide wireless service in my area because there is this weird law that sections off certain areas to different providers. In my case, I only have the option of getting wifi with Frontier and Spectrum..both of which charge sooo much money and suck the same amount of ass. Like can there please be a student discount on everything in life? Just flash your student ID and get free shit like a celebrity because we already have to go through so much bull just to get an education in this country there should be some type of benefits provided.

Second, I had my first dentist appointment in forever today. I’ve been lagging because once again..IT’S SO GOD DAMN EXPENSIVE. I have three major cavities that I need to get filled and all 4 of my wisdom teeth need to be pulled. So once again, America has fucked me over and I need to pay 1500 for my stupid teeth to stop hurting.

Third of all, my orientation is around the corner and I already know I’m not going to be able to get the classes that I want/need because the system is bullshit. I go to CSU Long Beach and I already have my classes picked out and everything because I am a transfer student so I thought it was going to be a piece of cake when I go in for SOAR a.k.a. orientation. I have them all in my cart..the times work with my work schedule and everything. K, my roommate went on the first day and said that classes fill up so fast she could only get one class in her cart approved! This pisses me off because we can’t even register until we attend soar because they put a hold on your account. I just can’t afford to take random classes at random times because I need to be able to make rent. I work 35-40 hours a week so I was planning on cramming 15 units into two days of school and having a “rest” day on Mondays so that I could get caught up with all of my assignments. I moved out here with no support from anyone so obviously, I have to put my work first. I hope its gonna work out in the end because I am so fucking stressed right now.

My breasts are fucking swollen and they hurt every time I get stressed out. This might be TMI but its such a burden. If there are any others out there who have this issue you know what I’m talking about. This is my blog so I feel like I can say exactly how I feel and whats on my mind but this is a HUGE concern right now. I am going to the doctors to get it checked out tomorrow so wish me luck

On the bright side: My roommate and housemate situation are great and I absolutely love Long Beach. I don’t think I could ever move back to the Bay Area to be completely honest. There is so much to do here and I fucking work in LA! Like I have everything I could have ever wanted and more. I am so blessed and so thankful for the daily blessings. Thank God for the blessings I have in my life. Thank God for making me a strong, hardworking and ambitious individual. Thank God for this opportunity to move out here and making one of my biggest dreams come true. Thank God for my girls who I talk to all the time, no amount of distance could ever keep us apart and I can’t believe I have SO many that I can count on. Thank God for my mother and stepdad for being there for me. They call me 15 million times a day which gets annoying but every time they call I get a bit more homesick and want to go see them. I don’t miss Fremont or living in the Bay Area but I do miss my family and friends that were sooo close to me. I don’t feel lonely here tho which is kinda crazy.

THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING

TOODALOO JW

Goodbye Childhood

I am about to start a brand new chapter in my life. I keep wandering around my apartment in Fremont thinking about how crazy it is that this won’t be my home in a few days. I have lived in this apartment complex since 2013. I met my first boyfriend here, had my first kiss and pretty much found myself in this city. I really do love the Bay Area and I am sad to leave it behind. San Jose and San Francisco are two of the most amazing cities in the world and I am so blessed to have lived so close to both. I feel like Los Angeles and Southern California also have so much to offer. I am moving because of school and because this has been my dream since high school. I told myself that I would move out of the bay and into LA to achieve my dreams. I am going to be a famous journalist and this move is going to be the beginning of the rest of my life. For some reason I feel like I am leaving my childhood behind with this move. I am leaving my apartment I grew up in, putting on my big girl pants and starting my life. This is not a goodbye to the Bay because my family and best friends still live here so I will be visiting quite often. This is a goodbye to my childhood, and a hello to my new adult life. Goodbye to this little room I called home for the last 5 years. I just can’t believe that when I come back to visit and step into my room it’s never going to look or feel the same. It is crazy how fast life changes.

TOODALOO JW

Weed: My best friend and enemy

I have this love/hate relationship with weed rn. My asthma is terrible this time of year. I wake up in the morning and feel like my lungs are about to collapse. I smoke because I have anxiety and an eating disorder. The weed helps with both so I am used to smoking every day or every other day. I have tried other things like weed edibles but I hate the high you get so thats not an option for me. It takes too long to kick in and it leaves you feeling permafried the next day. I think I am going to give it up for a while and see how I feel. It is definitely going to improve my lung capacity by like a million percent but I am going to miss being high. All of this stress from the move is going to get to me soon and my lung health is more important rn. I really hope I get to start swimming again when I get out there. I need to channel all of this anxiety into a healthy habit. Working out will hopefully improve my appetite as well. Ugh…this is about to be a long difficult journey

TOODALOO JW

Weeds 🍁

I grind my sticky weed

pack my bowl

breathe in deep

exhale with a sigh of relief

my chest feels heavy

head is light

thoughts cease to exist

a moment of delight

 

Date no. 1000000000000000000000001

I went out on another date yet again today. This one left me as confused and lost as the last one. It was weird, the moment I saw him pull up I instantly fell in love with him through the windshield of his Honda Civic. He is the definition of perfection..until he opens his mouth. Perfect body, dreamy eyes and a smile that will leave you breathless. The best part is that I finally found another Afghan I could get along with. I’ve been dating a lot recently but I haven’t met an Afghan that I actually liked since freshman year of high school. He was the also first guy I actually fell in love with, and that high school soulmates thing. Anywho… I couldn’t help but smile and laugh all day, my cheeks were red and sore. We had a plan  but it didn’t really work out. We were together, that’s all that mattered. He is 28, has absolutely no idea what he is going to be doing in life. He doesn’t have a proper job and he still lives with his parents. The worst part is that he is a loser just like the other ones. That type of man who is going to need more attention from you then you need from them. Who will probably take advantage of your kindness in the end. Who has cheated and said that they have learned from their mistakes but don’t regret it exactly. The wanna-be player type who thinks that he will never make the mistake of falling in love again. The one who you will give your all to, and just be disappointed with at the end.  I know this type far too well and don’t want to go through this whole thing with yet another gorgeous  stranger. I want this to remain nothing but a fond memory to both of us. I can’t see myself marrying this man because I know he and I are on completely different spectrums. What it about him that interests me so much though? My desire for physical attraction is far too important to ignore but I crave attention and protection. I crave a man who will be there for me. I want to find a partner for life, a best friend and a role model for my kids someday. I want to be able to trust them with all my heart and know that they will never betray me. I have a feeling that when I finally meet you, everything will just fall into place one piece at a time. That man might sound like a fantasy but he is out there somewhere waiting for me, I can feel it.

✨🎉CHEERS TO THE MYSTERY MAN🎉 💼 I’m on a hunt to find you, don’t worry 😉😍😘

TOODALOO JW