Thoughts on a Sunday night

I just feel like I can’t breathe

Want to close my eyes

Go into a deep sleep

Forget everything and everyone

My chest feels heavy

I just can’t breathe

I can’t

Fucking

Breathe

I

Can

Not

Breathe

Why

Can’t

I take a breath

Slow my brain down

My hands are shaking

I’m mentally exhausted

And

All

I

Want

To

Do

Is

Breathe

I don’t know what to say

Other than I’ll be okay

I smile during the day

At night tears run down my face

My body and mind are numb

I can’t focus on school

Feel so dumb and out of place

Counting the stars in outer space

I’m on a different planet

Pluto, one that no longer exists

I’m just lost

Desperate to feel bliss

Weed is my friend

The only one to mend the pain

I’m gonna go insane

I don’t know who to blame

I blame life

Out of luck

I’m just stuck with a poor family

Who has nothing in life but each other

An In debt, and occupied mother

And a brother who calls me a slut

But for what

Why do I have the life I have

Working and studying like a slave

Wanting nothing more than to crawl back into my cave

Close the door

Turn off the lights

End this fight with myself

An ongoing battle

School and work vs my sanity

This life not as great as I hoped it would be

Trying so hard to stay positive

I just lost all reason to live

TOODALOO JW