I feel like every relationship before this has been a lie because I can honestly say that I have never felt this way about anyone. The part that I am still not able to wrap my head around is the mutual the love we have for each other. I have never had someone feed me with their own hands, remind me to take care of myself, or say that my problems are ours and we can get through it together. You actually took time and effort into getting to know me and are so selfless about everything. Your time, money, energy, and even your own happiness. You would sacrifice your own comfort to make sure that I am okay. This is something I have never seen or experienced with any man I’ve come across. I know that you love being in the spotlight just as much as I do but so far you’ve just been shining it on me and letting me glow. I felt the need to write down my feelings now because they are valid. I am no longer afraid that this is all in my head, it’s real. I’ve just been through this so many times and I’ve lost track of the men that have come in and out of my life. I always felt like I was always fooling myself. I was imagined that they would be in my life long term or even might be a potential husband. I would always try and be the perfect “wifey” girlfriend who went with every bad decision to avoid conflict. I thought that they would turn around one day and see me for who I am. Start loving me for the sacrifices I had to make. They would never see it or see us the way I did. I tried so hard and held on through the lies and broken promises, disappointment, and abuse. After realizing this, months into the relationship, I knew they weren’t who I was desperately searching for. I guess my angels were holding onto you so that we could meet at the time they thought I could use a friend the most.
My life hasn’t been easy and I’ve been facing hardships since early childhood. I felt like I had no control over what happened in my past. I was born into a broken family and have struggled my whole life to love and be loved. I’ve always told myself that I wouldn’t settle and that I would find the man who deserves me. Someone that my future children can look up to and depend on. I know that my partner in life has to be my better half.
When I think about you Jaan, the biggest smile appears on my face and I even blush a little because you bring me that much joy. I don’t think my words are doing my feelings any justice because the way I feel about you can’t really be described in a particular way…You are everything I have ever wanted in a man and I just hope that I can make you as happy as you make me feel every day. I appreciate your presence on this earth and my angels couldn’t have picked a better time to send you to me because I was in a really bad place a few months ago..thanks to the prayers and effort you have put into me and us, I am finally able to write this post out of love and I don’t care how many times I thought I’ve fallen in love..this is completely different. I just hope that my love for you continues to grow and that my search is finally over.
TOODALOO WITH LOVE JW